


Given a quiet peace

by DeVloer



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, But he'll be okay :), Comfort, Death, Dream is there for him, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Moving On, Not A Fix-It, Other, Past Character Death, Post-War, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad and Happy, Starting Over, Tags May Change, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26876008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeVloer/pseuds/DeVloer
Summary: The colours have been drained from Tubbo's vision for quite a while now. It's like Fundy, Wilbur and Tommy were his colours, but they've been taken away.But Dream is green, and when he sits next to him, Tubbo starts to see the colour of the grass againA dealing with loss fanfic, in which Tubbo has lost his family, and has been stuck reliving the past for months until Dream talks with him.
Relationships: None
Comments: 5
Kudos: 222





	Given a quiet peace

The sun was warm on his cheeks.

Tubbo almost couldn't remember the last time he experienced any warmth. It was like the last couple of weeks had been spend in a deathly cold winter, with heavy snow barricading his little wooden hut and no way of escaping. 

But here? Tubbo didn't feel trapped, he didn't feel like a prisoner. Not while the sun breathed with him, the bench underneath him curved perfectly to fit him like a king on a throne. It brought a sense of... peace.

Dark-circled eyes fell closed, but the silhouette of the orange sphere crept through his lids anyway. Tubbo merely sighed, some things couldn't be ignored, he figured.

Like the click of a crossbow.

"You are trespassing on SMP territory."

His eyes blinked open. The sun was much lower than before, already taking a small dip in the blue oceans underneath it. Time must've slipped past his thoughts again.

"Hey, Dream."

The teen couldn't recall when Dream stopped being his enemy. At first, he couldn't even look at the white mask without a red volcano of anger bursting inside him. Time and time again, he had charged at the other with merely an iron sword and armour, blinded with rage. Of course, Dream and his team could easily overthrow him, but they merely just took his items away before leaving him alone.

That little charade went on for a month or so before Tubbo stopped. It was useless anyway, the fighting didn't bring Tommy, Fundy or Wilbur back. Only God could do that, but Tubbo was sure the holy man didn't take pity on him. Many people have lost their families, why should he get special treatment? 

Plus, Dream was just another human. A person with friends and memories and a favourite colour, just like Tubbo himself. Really, they're not that different at all, the only thing separating them apart was the L'Manburg wall.

Maybe if they never raised those walls in the first place, left everyone to their opinions and didn't let this war go to their head, Dream and him could've become friends.

"If you don't leave willingly, I am not afraid to use force."

A humorless chuckle escaped him. Does Dream truly think that will scare him? He already knows Dream won't actually shoot him, he felt too bad for him to do that. The worst the other will do is just drag him back to his base.

"I know you won't." He said slowly, voice dull. "Besides, I don't think you really care that much anyway."

Silence fell, and Tubbo could already tell he spoke the truth. He'd been wandering the SMP territory for a couple of evenings already, searching for a quiet place in the sun. Both George and Sapnap had seen him but didn't bother to acknowledge him, instead just walking around him with a big circle.

It was almost like they were afraid of him, Tubbo thought faintly, although immediately realized that wasn't the case. They were afraid of _a confrontation_ with him.

'Cause what do you say to the person whose life you've ruined? Tubbo doesn't blame them for avoiding him, he wouldn't know what to say either.

Slowly, he turned his head around. An arrow was still pointing directly at his face, but it didn't fase him in the slightest. The white mask behind the crossbow stared at him with those familiar, yet foreign drawn-on eyes, not betraying any emotions.

"Come." He glanced back to the sun in front of him and patted the empty seat next. "Sit with me, the sun's nice."

Really, Tubbo told himself that he wouldn't care if the other declined his offer and started pulling him away from his place of peace, but a tiny longing inside his body told him otherwise. Maybe he did want some company, he'd been quite lonely the past months after all. Or maybe he even wanted... a bit of rejoicing?

But a lost soldier could only hope.

The wind gently brushed over his hair, and after quite a couple of seconds, he heard some shuffling. There was a soft thud, which Tubbo assumed was the crossbow getting dropped on the ground, and then Dream sat down next to him.

If any time during the war Dream had gotten as close to him as he was right now, he might've started weeing his pants purely from fear. But now, when their knees were almost touching, he didn't even twitch.

Tubbo leaned back until his shoulders were touching the backside of the bench, and silently watched the sun sink down. The buzzing of the bees and the soft tweeting of the birds around them made up for their lack of conversation.

Slowly getting swallowed by the horizon, the sun got smaller and smaller, as the dark blanket of night draped over the earth. Stars twinkled above them as far as the eye could see, the constellations turning clearer by the second. Tubbo almost felt the need to point them out, talk about them, explain their origin.

He loved astrology, he often talked about it with Tommy when both of them had a sleepless night and decided to stargaze together. Tommy found it quote on quote "boring as fuck", but Tubbo always knew he was listening to his stories. Sure, the other added to dumb shit to them and liked to fantasize, but when Tubbo stretched his arm up into the sky and whispered he wanted to catch a star and bring it home with him, Tommy went quiet.

He remembers those moments, they brought peace to his mind. Tubbo valued peace a lot. Of course, the moments where him and Tommy were laughing so hard they fell down on the floor were important to him as well...

But the quiet moments... The ones where you could think, where nature was closest to you, where you could _breathe._

Those were the moments where Tubbo felt happiest.

Little droplets of liquid pooled in the corners of his eyes as he watched the sun turn into just an orange line, almost all the way gone. He hadn't felt this light in weeks, it was like he had forgotten what it was like to _not_ be numb.

It didn't make sense to him, why now? Why, when his heart was fluttering and he could _feel_ it in his throat, why did tears leak down his cheeks? _Why could he feel?_

"I-I miss them, Dream." The words were shaking with sadness, and Tubbo lowered his head down, tears splattering onto his L'Manburg suit. He hadn't cried for so long, he was almost starting to think he was incapable of crying. Why now?

A tender warmth pressed against his arm, and he glanced up to meet the kind face of Dream. His real face, his human face, not the plastic smiley one. Tubbo had never seen this face before, the other always had it hidden away under that mask that used to haunt Tubbo's nightmares.

But now, without its cover, it seemed so... friendly, so understanding, like the two of them had been friends for years.

"I do too." Dream said softly, his own eyes glimmering as well.

Tubbo let his head sank down on top of Dream shoulder, more sniffles escaping him. "Sometimes I wish I-I died with them."

Dream didn't answer, merely putting his head on top of Tubbo's. And really? That was enough.

Tubbo knew Dream was sorry, and that was all he needed to forgive him. He was tired of reliving in the past, getting stuck on old memories. Tubbo wanted to look up in the endless vast of space, and not think about the things he had lost in there. 

There were things here. Happy, exciting, breathtaking things, right on this tiny little planet. And that was enough.

Right now, Dream and him weren't two previous enemies that caused each other so much pain and trouble, but two friends enjoying a sunset together and creating new memories.

Creating a new peace.

"Hey, Dream?" Tubbo whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Let's never fight again, okay?"

As a short silence took over, Tubbo felt Dream exhale, and knew he understood too.

"Okay."

And for the first time since the end of the war, through tear-stained cheeks, Tubbo smiled.

And far above the starry sky, in a land that no mortal has ever laid their eyes on, three soldiers looked down at their little brother and smiled back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Brought to you by emotional me, who has spent the last three hours or so listening to mario galaxy music and crying their eyes out.
> 
> Whoever you are, wherever you are, loss is not a void that will never be filled or should always be ignored. A void should be acknowledged, it should be filled with new memories, and it can close up again. I know the scar will always stay, and it's okay to look back at it sometimes and just remember.
> 
> You know your friends? You know your family? Tell them you love them, tell them how much they mean to you, because before you know it, you won't get the chance to, and the circle starts again.
> 
> You're loved, and important, and if you don't believe these silly letters underneath a Dream SMP fanfic, find someone or something who you will believe, because it's the truth.
> 
> I hope your loved ones live out their full lives, and that you are able to find peace. Because peace is the most important thing a person could have. Take a moment to breathe, take a moment to clear your mind, and take a moment to remember.
> 
> Because remembering them brings them back to you, even if it's just for a moment :')


End file.
